25 Lessons I learnt from Couchsurfing



Having interesting people around made winter a happier time for me.

Over 8 months I have shared meals, conversations and my home with over 25 people from different parts of the world through couchsurfing.  I travelled with some and partied up a storm with others, we debated and sat in silence but most importantly we lived and did our best to be kind to each other.   Many people were totally disturbed when I told them that I was hosting strangers in my home, they fired questions about my safety:  was I not afraid of being in my home with a stranger? What if they were a thief or a rapist?  These are normal questions for South Africans to ask for we are always being told how unsafe our world is but I was never brought up to live in fear.  Life is truly too short to spend a large portion of it guarding yourself from what may happen or never happen. 

Living on the edge.

So I chose to live and learn.  In the 8 months I have observed and learnt a lot from my fellow surfers.  They have re-ignited elements of my personality that had been long forgotten, like looking at something as if I was seeing it for the first time, asking why? Doing super cool things like, dancing on bridges and rolling on the floor laughing at our own silliness. They have reminded me of the importance of being brave because to up and leave your comfort zone takes guts,  to contact someone and ask them for a place to stay the night,  that you have never met before …is pretty scary if you think about it. We are people, there is so much that we have in common we have no reason to fear each other when we can learn so much from one another.  Here are the 25 Lessons I learnt from surfing.

1.       We do not eat cute things like Turkey’s – Whilst hosting Luna,  my South Korean friend, we cooked Turkey stew for supper,  when she realised it was the cute looking bird in the pot she declined the stew and ate rice and veggies. #Lesson - Stay true to who you are, there is no problem in declining something as long as you do it with respect for the other person.

2.       Save for what you want and then do what you want to do. Vivi decided that when she turned 30 she wanted to travel the world for a year, she saved monthly and adjusted her life so she could afford this dream.  In the few months prior to turning 30 she met someone she liked and appreciated, yet she still followed her plan for life will always work out as it should. #Lesson – If you want something, define it, plan and then execute regardless of what life presents you with because life will challenge your will.  Offering all sorts of possibilities testing how much you actually want something.

Good Food in Yeoville

3.       Go to places you know nothing about to know more. Often we have preconceived ideas of what places will be like because of media influences and what other people say about them. Whilst you are there, do what moves you; dance on bridges at midnight, laugh freely and just be.  #Lesson- Be brave, travel by yourself, see the world through your eyes and not just through the experience of others.  Meet people, talk to the guy on the bench, and share a mint with a stranger.  Discover how you cope alone and with people you do not know.

Dancing on Mandela Bridge at midnight.

4.       Accomplished people like MBA Holders, National Soccer Team Physio Therapists and  Rock stars sleep on other people’s couches too.  We had a guy who  has created a name for himself as a rocker in Japan and in the states. He wanted to experience Africa, meet some people and that’s what he did. #Lesson – You do not have to travel 5 Star to see the world, but you need to know what kind of experience you would like to have. Oh yes, he also made a video about his time in Africa –inspiration is everywhere.

Laughter is the best Remedy in the World.

5.       Appreciate everything in life, good food, tea, conversation with a stranger, laughing till the tears shimmy off your face - Life can be “So, so, soooo Good!”. #Lesson - There are many ways to show gratitude and appreciation you do not need fancy words, a smile, a satisfied sigh and "so, so, soooo good" work just as well.

One of the most curious people I have ever met in my life, brilliant mind.

6.       Be willing to learn from everyone and anyone. When people ask you questions don’t get irritated as it offers you the opportunity to explore and view something in a different way. #Lesson- Ask, Question, and Answer.  As kids we never stopped asking why? until something made sense to us, so question yourself, be open to being questioned and allow yourself to think Why?

Friends who travel together have a lot to laugh about when they get older.

7.       Give of your time, your space, your food and your kindness. Couchsurfing gives you the golden opportunity to share, your knowledge, your life and your space with others.  It’s a cultural, social and life exchange.  #Lesson - it’s possible to open your home to a total stranger and not be harmed.  Just remember the friends we have today once upon a time were strangers to us. 
  

8.    When other people are relying on you, it is best to be honorable and honest at all times. Be clear on meeting times, just be there.  if you are running late let them know.  #Lesson - communication is key in any form of situation rather over communicate than under communicate.

Couch Surfers Improptu  meet up @Neighbourgood Market, Joburg

9.       Keep your promise.

10.   Recognize the importance of each soul that is on this earth: en route home I had a puncture, upon my arrival I candidly shared how lucky I was that it had not burst whilst I was driving and Luna who was couchsurfing with me started crying, thankful that nothing bad had happened.  When I asked her why she was crying she said she did not want anything bad to happen to me.  #Lesson - Imagine if that was the wish we held for everyone we shared this world with, there are so many people who upset us.  Life would be so different if we wished even our worst enemy well.

11.   Just give, do not harbor any anger because someone ate your sandwich.  Growing up with a younger sister who raided my lunch-box, this was a hard lesson to learn but this year, I think I really made some strides on this one. # Lesson - it’s just food anyway if someone doesn’t eat it will rot anyway.

12.   If we share, we all have something.

Pedro and I after we discovered we shared the same birth date and year.

13.   Be gentle, hug each other and always greet each other with open arms. So many people need a hug out there, just that human touch that we need for our own survival. #Lesson- Hug as often as possible and breath; do not shy away from showing you care.

14.   Travel with a “stranger” by the end of the trip you will be friends.  You are nicer to people you do not know well and you are more patient with them than those you know. #Lesson - travelling with a stranger is an opportunity to challenge yourself and view the world through someone else’s eyes.  You also learn to be more patient and kinder especially if English is not necessarily their 1^st language.

15.   If your gut instinct says run, take it seriously. #Lesson - trust your gut, it generally never lies.

16.   Learning a new language can be very funny if you do it in a light hearted manner.

We were standing at a Game reserve when Luna turned to me and said Michelle “is I-sex warning in julu (Zulu)?”  We both had a good giggle when I sounded out the word she was reading for her. #Lesson - We teach each other at all times whether we realise it or not.

17.   Try, push and be consistent & persistent.

18.   Think out of the box and Dream Beeeeeeg. I met a girl who came from nothing who left home to get herself educated by working in different countries during the holidays so she could make money to pay her fees for varsity, this was all done without the support of any parents or close family. She was goal focused because she wanted a better life for herself.  She also wants nothing to limit her no matter where she goes so she obtained a bike and drivers license. #Lesson - you can have whatever you set your heart on but it will require severe discipline and willingness to stop at nothing and a lot of thinking out of the box.

19.   Say Yes. Sometimes we are so stuck in “who we are” that we have programed ourselves to say no all the time. No I don’t dance, No I don’t eat strange food, No I cannot entertain strangers.  #Lesson – You want to live?  Say YES

I love this picture of my sister Katie in Masai traditional attire,  Proudly  Nigerian and African. I loved being around her, she oozes confidence and kindness. 

20.   Don’t be shy about who you are. People are genuinely interested in you, not who you claim to be.  #Lesson – Be at peace with who you are and be proud of where you come from.

21.   Learn, Learn and Learn some more, I have met Harvard graduates, MBA holders and teachers. They don’t sleep on your couch because they poor they sleep on your couch because they want to understand what your life entails. # Lesson - it’s no lie never stop learning, that's why its called the school of life.

Alyssa and I

22. Travel with your siblings, parents in the fast paced world we live in we often don’t see our family as much we would like to. # Lesson – you are always in charge of how and with whom you spend your time.

23. Relax and take it easy, life happens, torrential rains, passports get forgotten in trains, we fall ill, these are small reminders to slow down and enjoy the ride. We are on the road to experience life not to fly through it. #Lesson – be goal orientated but always leave room for life to happen, you cannot be angry at life if slows you down you little rolling stone.     

24. Breathe.  Stop, breathe and start again. #Lesson – if you breathe correctly you feel more in control, don’t rush yourself this is your time.

25. Nike said it, I’m going to say it.  Just do it! Trust your thoughts, trust yourself and do what feels right to you.  People will always have something to say.  8 months later I feel like I woke up in a Bugatti from all the experiences I have had. #Lesson – Life is understood backwards 90% of the time.  

 

Out on the streets of Brighton with Family Man Sizwe Zondo

Rated one of the sexiest rugby guys in Newcastle High school, Sizwe Zondo was always a charming well-mannered young man who said very little.  10 years later, we took some time to catch up and find what inspired him to Move to the United Kingdom and how finding love on his travels impacted his life.  

1 unit - Sizwe Zondo with his family relaxing on holiday in Durban.

Who is Sizwe?

Sizwe is a simple guy from the township of Madadeni, born to a massive family. I am a chilled out easy going chap, family orientated, I always use the word simple to describe myself as I feel it best describes me.. 

So you are a simple guy who travels?

Yes, I have always travelled since I was very young, I first started with the church, thereafter rugby took me all over the South Africa and finally abroad, so yeah I have always loved to travel.

Sizwe in Top Form

How did you end up in the UK?   I remember opening a Facebook account just after varsity and finding out you were living in the UK.

After High School when I was 17 I came to the UK on a School exchange rugby program for 5months, ever since then I was fascinated with the UK. I like the people, the lovely places and… the cold.

The cold?  It’s not every day you have a South African prefer cold weather.

I have always preferred cold weather to hot weather, love it when its snows.

Well at least we know you will not be moving back to SA beacuse of the dreary weather that so many list as motivation to make their way back home. 

*laughs*

Well beside the weather what else inspired you to build a life for yourself in the UK?

My wife and daughter, I initially came over here for a 6month sports visa stint just to play rugby, but I ended up meeting the love of my life and having our lovely daughter...

Zuzana & Sizwe Zonde

Oh wow! Sound’s something straight out of book.  Do tell us more about this Special woman.

I’m Happily married Zuzana ZONDO originally from Slovakia

Shoo it Rhymes do you think that it was the Surname that synched the deal for you?

 *laughing* Nah I don’t think so.  I met my lovely lady at a bar/restaurant where she was working and I instantly knew she was the girl of my dreams.

Just like that? I have heard so many people say you just know, what is this “knowing” feeling?

 I looked at her and everything inside of me said “there’s your girl” I even told a very good friend of mine that I was going to marry her.

And has she been THAT girl for you?

She is my best friend and knowing that she is there for me all the time definitely reinforces that she is the one for me.

So was there in Lobola (Dowry) that took place?

*laughs* There is no such thing as Lobola this side *laughs* as much as Lobola is in my culture back home, I have never truly understood its meaning.  Most important thing is that I found someone who gets me and I get her. That is priceless.

I Love how committed you are!  It’s really inspiring, how do you maintain this level of balance and commitment to all the different areas of your life?

It’s very hard and stressful to juggle everything, rugby, work, family. On my days off from work, I try and do as much as I can with my family like going out for dinner, movie night or just taking lil one out to the park etc

Oh little Kiara, she is just absolutely gorgeous, what is it like being a dad?

I love it! I always want to do the best for my family Zuzana and Kiara are my priority in life.  I do Best for my little girl.

Being a good dad goes a long way and I commend you for that

Thank you, it’s a decision one must take for themselves.  You decide who you want to be in life and that decision impacts everything else. If you want to be a great husband and father then you give it your full commitment, just that simple.

What’s have you learnt from this change in environment do you still want to travel more?

It’s taught me that the world is a very big place and there is so much to see. Once our lil one is in school and a bit older, I want to travel a lot more with my wife. There are so many countries we want to tick off our Bucket List.

I really enjoy living in the UK, I found it very easy to adapt to the culture over here and best part everyone treats each other equally.

Nothing beats being an equal it’s important in how one views themselves and their role in the world. Any pearls of wisdom that you would like to share?

Nothing is impossible... All your dreams can come true you just have to BELIEVE... BELIEF IS KEY!!!!!!

Family Man Sizwe making the most of the Snow with Kiara

Have you found romance whilst travelling?  How has it changed you and what have you learnt from this experience?  I would love to hear from you.