Travel Tuesday: Finding my place of peace

Sometimes you just need to go to a place where you are not disturbed by life’s interruptions.

There 2 such places that I always choose to retreat to, both are hidden on the side of a hill with views that comfort the soul and exhilarate the heart.  Here there is no noise, every sound is clear and it speaks of life; from birds chirping to the gurgle sound of water making its way to the top, this is where I choose to meet myself. It’s a trip I often invite no one too as it’s for me.  It has nothing to do with the next adventure but everything to do with the essence of my being.

It wasn't always like this but life has a way of showing you who you are; the death of my close friend in the early 2000s left me distraught and with an ache so deep that I did not know how to heal myself.  After weeks of weeping at any given time I realized that what I required was something no one else could give me, I needed time alone with myself.  I gathered my little broken heart and made for Ixopo Buddhist retreat in KwaZulu Natal for a silent retreat.

 Now anybody who knows me most probably has their eyebrows furrowed because I’m not one to give up a good conversation let alone do a silent retreat, in fact I really love talking to people, anyone really, yet through my heartbreak my life shifted gears from the external to the internal journey of life. 

I chose to live in the dormitories where my chances of bumping into people were higher but having arrived during the week there very few people to be seen.  Having explained myself to the admin lady, she offered me a chance to do a silent working retreat, I shared how much I loved gardening as I imagined myself potting around in Wellingtons in the beautiful vegetable garden.   Instead I was showed a huge field almost the size of a Rugby field and told that there where baby trees in the metre long grass and I had to find them. Not one to shy away from a challenge I went in full force slaying the grass in search of the bebe trees.

It was only on the 3^rdday that my silence was broken by my own screams when I thought I heard a snake making its way to attack me.   I threw the slasher to the skies and went in the opposite direction screaming,  the fact that is was a sharp tool that could have easily landed on my head was forgotten when I thought I was under attack.   Besides almost killing myself let me take you through a somewhat visual experience of why I have chosen these 2 places as my place of refuge.

Its really as beautiful as it is described in Cry the Beloved Country -  For those who have never read the book here is a little excerpt -  "There is a lovely road that runs from Ixopo into the hills. These hills are grass-covered and rolling, and they are lovely beyond any singing of it. The road climbs seven miles into them, to Carisbrooke; and from there, if there is no mist, you look down on one of the fairest valleys of Africa. About you there is grass and bracken and you may hear the forlorn crying of the titihoya, one of the birds of the veld. Below you is the valley of the Umzimkulu, on its journey from the Drakensberg to the sea; and beyond and behind the river, great hill after great hill; and beyond and behind them, the mountains of Ingeli and East Griqualand."

In the garden this gigantic statue sits, smiling.
 I'm not Buddhist but there is so much that one can learn from such simplicity
 when you have forgotten what it feels like to smile.

It was here that I encountered Rumi for the first time during guided poetry meditation.
 I heard the words, but they went beyond my ears they spoke to my heart,  I was in love.

The other thing that they do very well here is the Food.  Its everything food should be, simple, fresh tasty and heart warming.  from the bread to the cake the love flows through it all.

My second place of peace is much closer to where I reside for sometimes you need to escape without having to request leave.  Sediba Mountain retreat, it was here that I trained for my yoga teaching; it was here that I found my second home in Gauteng.  I love this little place; this is where I come to think, rest, sleep and meditate.  Created as a place where anyone can visit seeking return to the source of who they are through silence, a place to meditate and continue on your journey.  I have met many people on different paths, I have heard, sat and listened to stories of those who have been beaten by life yet chosen to get up and try again. It is a special place for here there is no one to judge let alone offer their opinions.
.

A room with a view

A sunset like no other it's moments like this that I'm grateful for,

 they remind me that there is something greater than myself. 

That I am a speck in the greater scheme of things.

Just saying but you know its true.

Travel Tuesday: Yummy Mummy's who Travel DIY

Who do woman become after they become someone’s mother?

Good enough to eat

 I have spent hours pondering this question, as I am a young woman who would like to have kids in the near future.  Right now I lead a get up and go life, I wait for no one as I seek adventure.  I don’t have to worry about planning after all, if  I decide to hit the road it’s just myself that I have to worry about.   So what happens when I finally decide to shift gears and become a mum?  Will travel become a distant dream as my life is consumed by nappies, baby talk and booties?  Will I all of a sudden become a boring, dowdy woman who laments about her youth and glamazon ways that are now a thing of the past as I chase after Lerato? Walking around with creased clothes and baby food stains a sign of my everyday struggle as a mother.

This idea had me in a flat spin, I found myself hyperventilating as heaviness descended upon my chest. Asthma pump someone!  While some might choose this path and I have seen woman looking like this in isle 4 at the grocery store.  Not hot, if anything scary! I feel no different (mentally of course) from the time I was 21 so what happens when all of a sudden you look like Charlize Theron in Monster except you are on isle 4? 

Yummy Mummy Queen B

I searched the net looking for mommies who were embracing their new life with the same panache that they had for their single years.  I was relieved to find the likes of Jada Pinket, Angela Basset and of course Queen B who seemed to still maintain who they are yet still embrace being a mom.  *Sigh of relief* but what about ordinary people like myself? I turned to my facebook friends and I was pleasantly surprised. I came across gorgeous pictures of happy, young mothers who make motherhood look like a breeze, never losing their sense of self, appreciation of their body and love for adventure.

Introducing the yummy mummies who travel; they are a group of youthful mothers who once a year, head off into the unknown to celebrate and discover new things about themselves through travel.

Who are the yummy mummies?

They are Noncedo Nhlapo (mother of 1), Lebohang Monama( mother of 1)Rose Seelamo(mother of 2) Refilwe Monkoe (mother of soon to be 2), Phophi Mamburu ( not a mommy yet)

Looking gorgeous and Ready for Adventure

What inspired you to travel together?

We started talking about it mid-year as we were all already feeling exhausted as we work full time and we are full time moms. We needed a real break.

Which Destination did you choose?

We picked Pinnacle Golf Resort in Mossel bay, their website looked amazing and it just seemed like the perfect getaway for a group of friends.  I must say it over exceeded our expectations.

Beautiful coast line in the back, what more can a girl ask for?

Who is behind all the planning?

We all worked together, Noncedo booked all the flights, Lebohang the accommodation, Rose hired the car and shuttle service and Phophi &Refilwe did the itinerary

A team effort!  Was everyone happy to share the load?

Yes it worked perfectly as we all have jam-packed schedules so sharing the load made life much easier.

So did Refilwe create an adventurous itinerary?

Yeah she totally outdid herself, we went on a 2 hour Safari game drive we were lucky enough to see the big 5.  We also went shark cage diving, which was a beautiful experience as we got to see the white shark.  We had a day of pampering at the spa!  Spent almost every day at the Pinnacle private beach, which was divine the only downside is we still recovering from the sunburn. To top it off some of the ladies who love height and thrills went bungee jumping.

Looking Posh & Fashionable for the Safari Drive

How did you prepare the little one's for your time away?

We are all lucky enough to have very supportive parents who have a great relationship with our little ones and so they were more than happy to have them for the 7 days that were away.

You are lucky indeed! Having a supportive structure in place always makes life that much easier.  So did you miss the kids?

The first 2 days were easy, but from day 3 the phone calls to them became more frequent and by day 7 we couldn't wait to see their little faces.

Yummy Mummy Getaway

What is special about this time away?

Our time away was special because it was about us and making time for ourselves, 4 of us are mothers and so we related in the evening conversations about the kids, and also exchanged parenting advice. It also allowed us to reflect and regroup so that we can go back home to our families rejuvenated.

What message would you like to share with other yummy mummies out there?

Yummy Mummies should definitely take time out to be with their girlfriends and relax. It's much needed especially when you're also a working mom and wife.  They should not feel guilty about going away as your little ones and partner prefer you happier and relaxed so go ahead and do it!

 

Working on the next trip

Where to for 2014

We are headed to Zambia, we feel ready to explore beyond our borders.

Well just don’t forget your sunblock when you hit Zambia cos Black can crack from the sun.  Nothing like Sunburn - TIA

What’s the Buzz at Busy Corner?

Imbizo where people meet

The first time I heard about Imbizo Shisa Nyama  a.k.a busy corner I was driving home listening to a radio show about Heritage day,   the presenter was waxing lyrical about Imbizo Shisa Nyama.  A place she described as the perfect spot to enjoy a truly South African meal in good company.

My curiosity was piqued,  yet it took me a few months before I made my way to Ivory Park/Tembisa to find out for myself if this place was really all it was made up to be. I took a few of my friends along who had never been to a Shisa Nyama so we could judge for ourselves.  As we approached Imbizo from the distance we saw a multitude of gleaming cars parked on the side of the road, a clear indicator as to why it’s called busy corner.  Much to my surprise finding parking was not a hassle, the car guards were highly efficient and friendly. 

 Walking in we were welcomed by the security staff, the area was already packed with local revellers enjoying a beer to some smooth Sunday jams. My taste buds were tantalized by a breeze saturated with the smell of meat on the braai; all of a sudden I was hungry.

To our delight the manager quickly sorted us out with a table so we could start sampling Imbizo’s offerings.

Service with a smile

Whilst waiting for our food I had the fortune of meeting the lady behind this thriving establishment, Sis Rita Zwane a bubbly, driven businesswoman from Umlazi who started her business in a container with a tiny 2 litre pot that only made 10 units of pap.

Left to right: NomadicMichelle, Sis Rita Zwane & Maps

 Her first income was R97, taken aback by this revelation I asked what encouraged her to carry on when her first income was so small, passion she answered.

The 2L pot a reminder that we all have to start somewhere

Having held down 3 jobs she gave it all up to follow her dream of being a leading restaurateur, having frequented different Shisa Nyama’s I can definitely say that she is leading the pack in this industry.  Imbizo is pure class, coupled with the authentic feeling of being at a African gathering, where laughter is abound with others enjoying conversation and dance whilst indulging in a meal.

a client celebrating her birthday , with Rita cheering her on.

Rita clearly knows the value of making clients feel special
 as she hugs and wishes the Birthday girl well.  

What really blew my socks off though was finding out that the production of chakalaka, shatini (a tomato  salad similar to salsa) and jeqe (traditional steamed bread) has been out sourced to community members  therefore allowing them to make a living from Imbizo as well.

Getting ready to tuck in -  far right corner Jede & Chakalaka and yes the delicious braai'ed meat.

In a world where most people want all profits for themselves Sis Rita is a true game changer creating sustainable growth not only for herself but for members of her community.

Freddy Loved Imbizo, could not stop raving about the food and service

Cindy  keeping us happy and smiling.

I loved how amazing the staff were, it was no different from wining and dining in Sandton, our waitress Cindy was superb and on the ball. The DJ, Baron came through to introduce himself and let us know that if we had any dedications he was the man to chat to.

DJ Baron on the Decks 

They say you can tell a lot about an establishment through their toilets and I’m happy to say that is a professional establishment!  How they manage to keep the toilets clean and well equipped with so many clients moving in and out is a miracle in itself. I think mother nature felt the need to answer this question because not long after it started raining, the first person to run out and clear the tables in the rain was none other than Rita, showing the importance of leading by example.

Rita folding table cloths along with Isaac a member of her team.

The place in its entirety reminds me of a Chameleon, for its forever evolving,  its starts off slow with family and friends meeting for lunch and then the party revellers descend to enjoy a few drinks and burn some rubber on the dance floor.

a fully stocked bar & a nolstagic moment for me; a black woman
 owning a thriving business.
Now there is something to drink to - Cheers to 20years of Freedom

 By the time we were leaving there was a Dutch group having the time of their lives dancing the night away.  At the front of Imbizo there were people doing “the step” made famous by R Kelly it was like a family wedding where the celebration is so wonderful that leaving feels like you will be missing out on the best times.  I didn't want to leave I wanted to jump behind and step the night away.

I don’t know why it took me so long to visit Imbizo but it was worth the drive and if you haven’t been, you have to go!  Make it a goal to find this place, otherwise contact me and I will happily take you there any excuse to have a good time.

When convenience becomes an inconvenience

Gautrain Bus

Gaubus for people on the move …or not.

A month ago I found myself in a predicament, as I was entering the Gau-bus from Monte Casino heading to Sandton, the machine let out a buzzing noise… insufficient funds it read.  My heart sank, not because I had insufficient funds but because I knew that this meant I was not going to be allowed in the bus, therefore delaying my arrival to my destination.   Secondly it meant for my sins spending a whole R100 on a new card at Sins!  A supposed convenience store that enjoys the comfort of being the only store that sells Gautrain cards but cannot allow you to recharge your Gautrain card.

I found myself asking why in heavens name we do not have the same easy to use, reloading Gau- Machines that you find at the Gautrain stations at Monte Casino and Brightwater Commons.  Why? Surely if the bus driver cannot take money, then you would make sure that your customer's travel experience is not disrupted by moments such as these where they are left stranded because they are missing R2 for the fare.   Travel anywhere else in the world where they have systems like this and you will find that at there are reloading stations in places where people are most likely to realise that they have not recharged. 

Gau-bus is convenient until you have not recharged, I have had fellow travellers stranded for a while at Brightwater commons because they did not recharge, imagine being a tourist and being stuck with no alternative.  This also places the bus drivers in a predicament,  if he wanted to assist you by law he cannot allow you into the bus without paying your fare because other people will assume that he is offering preferential treatment. You also cannot really ask you fellow commuters for assistance without looking like a social pest.   Gautrain does most things very well, like instilling the law and running the train but they definitely have not thought out the Monte Casino and Brightwater Commons reloading stations.  Its little things like this that can make jo’burg a undesirable destination for those who are used to efficient travel. as a traveler I want to move around with ease, not to be roadblocked by the system.

It’s something that really needs to be addressed, these reloading machines take up as much space as an ATM therefore I cannot understand why they do not already have these reloading machines installed.  If security is the issue then install one that uses no cash just debit/credit cards. Lets think outside the box and solve the problem.   Searching on the web I discovered that Gautrain customer care service is renowned for dropping the phone on their clients ears  I'm hoping this will not be the case as  my only request to Gautrain is to please run this service to suit the convenience of your customers. Give us Gautrain reloading machines at Brightwater Commons and Monte Casino.

This Gentle Brother saved my bacon on that fateful day, he paid my fare. 

1 thing successful travelista’s know how to do

Moonlit Picnic 

These past 2 months have been a blur, I went from having a slow, lazy holiday in Umlalazi; a secluded beach resort in Mtunzini straight into a Jam packed Jo’burg trail-blazer month. With events such as the craft beer festival and raspberry picking on a farm with 90 000 bushes where does one find the time to see their family and friends?

Since February is the month of love, the plan has been to create moments that my family and friends can be part off.  Summer in Jo’burg is the perfect companion to the month of love as the weather is splendid and there are plenty places to explore.

I was totally inspired by this idea from Just Darling and decided to host a Moonlight picnic in my garden for a few friends. 

setting the mood

It turned out to be a magnificent evening of laughter and conversation, a perfect way to catch up with everyone.   It was so Awesome that I have decided that I will host another one of these Full moon picnics before the end of summer.

Looking forward to another Moon Picnic Soon

Other Highlight I'm looking forward to this month:

 - Taking a group of friends from Couchsurfing to Busy Corner to sample South African Shisanyama.
 - Finally going raspberry picking

25 Lessons I learnt from Couchsurfing



Having interesting people around made winter a happier time for me.

Over 8 months I have shared meals, conversations and my home with over 25 people from different parts of the world through couchsurfing.  I travelled with some and partied up a storm with others, we debated and sat in silence but most importantly we lived and did our best to be kind to each other.   Many people were totally disturbed when I told them that I was hosting strangers in my home, they fired questions about my safety:  was I not afraid of being in my home with a stranger? What if they were a thief or a rapist?  These are normal questions for South Africans to ask for we are always being told how unsafe our world is but I was never brought up to live in fear.  Life is truly too short to spend a large portion of it guarding yourself from what may happen or never happen. 

Living on the edge.

So I chose to live and learn.  In the 8 months I have observed and learnt a lot from my fellow surfers.  They have re-ignited elements of my personality that had been long forgotten, like looking at something as if I was seeing it for the first time, asking why? Doing super cool things like, dancing on bridges and rolling on the floor laughing at our own silliness. They have reminded me of the importance of being brave because to up and leave your comfort zone takes guts,  to contact someone and ask them for a place to stay the night,  that you have never met before …is pretty scary if you think about it. We are people, there is so much that we have in common we have no reason to fear each other when we can learn so much from one another.  Here are the 25 Lessons I learnt from surfing.

1.       We do not eat cute things like Turkey’s – Whilst hosting Luna,  my South Korean friend, we cooked Turkey stew for supper,  when she realised it was the cute looking bird in the pot she declined the stew and ate rice and veggies. #Lesson - Stay true to who you are, there is no problem in declining something as long as you do it with respect for the other person.

2.       Save for what you want and then do what you want to do. Vivi decided that when she turned 30 she wanted to travel the world for a year, she saved monthly and adjusted her life so she could afford this dream.  In the few months prior to turning 30 she met someone she liked and appreciated, yet she still followed her plan for life will always work out as it should. #Lesson – If you want something, define it, plan and then execute regardless of what life presents you with because life will challenge your will.  Offering all sorts of possibilities testing how much you actually want something.

Good Food in Yeoville

3.       Go to places you know nothing about to know more. Often we have preconceived ideas of what places will be like because of media influences and what other people say about them. Whilst you are there, do what moves you; dance on bridges at midnight, laugh freely and just be.  #Lesson- Be brave, travel by yourself, see the world through your eyes and not just through the experience of others.  Meet people, talk to the guy on the bench, and share a mint with a stranger.  Discover how you cope alone and with people you do not know.

Dancing on Mandela Bridge at midnight.

4.       Accomplished people like MBA Holders, National Soccer Team Physio Therapists and  Rock stars sleep on other people’s couches too.  We had a guy who  has created a name for himself as a rocker in Japan and in the states. He wanted to experience Africa, meet some people and that’s what he did. #Lesson – You do not have to travel 5 Star to see the world, but you need to know what kind of experience you would like to have. Oh yes, he also made a video about his time in Africa –inspiration is everywhere.

Laughter is the best Remedy in the World.

5.       Appreciate everything in life, good food, tea, conversation with a stranger, laughing till the tears shimmy off your face - Life can be “So, so, soooo Good!”. #Lesson - There are many ways to show gratitude and appreciation you do not need fancy words, a smile, a satisfied sigh and "so, so, soooo good" work just as well.

One of the most curious people I have ever met in my life, brilliant mind.

6.       Be willing to learn from everyone and anyone. When people ask you questions don’t get irritated as it offers you the opportunity to explore and view something in a different way. #Lesson- Ask, Question, and Answer.  As kids we never stopped asking why? until something made sense to us, so question yourself, be open to being questioned and allow yourself to think Why?

Friends who travel together have a lot to laugh about when they get older.

7.       Give of your time, your space, your food and your kindness. Couchsurfing gives you the golden opportunity to share, your knowledge, your life and your space with others.  It’s a cultural, social and life exchange.  #Lesson - it’s possible to open your home to a total stranger and not be harmed.  Just remember the friends we have today once upon a time were strangers to us. 
  

8.    When other people are relying on you, it is best to be honorable and honest at all times. Be clear on meeting times, just be there.  if you are running late let them know.  #Lesson - communication is key in any form of situation rather over communicate than under communicate.

Couch Surfers Improptu  meet up @Neighbourgood Market, Joburg

9.       Keep your promise.

10.   Recognize the importance of each soul that is on this earth: en route home I had a puncture, upon my arrival I candidly shared how lucky I was that it had not burst whilst I was driving and Luna who was couchsurfing with me started crying, thankful that nothing bad had happened.  When I asked her why she was crying she said she did not want anything bad to happen to me.  #Lesson - Imagine if that was the wish we held for everyone we shared this world with, there are so many people who upset us.  Life would be so different if we wished even our worst enemy well.

11.   Just give, do not harbor any anger because someone ate your sandwich.  Growing up with a younger sister who raided my lunch-box, this was a hard lesson to learn but this year, I think I really made some strides on this one. # Lesson - it’s just food anyway if someone doesn’t eat it will rot anyway.

12.   If we share, we all have something.

Pedro and I after we discovered we shared the same birth date and year.

13.   Be gentle, hug each other and always greet each other with open arms. So many people need a hug out there, just that human touch that we need for our own survival. #Lesson- Hug as often as possible and breath; do not shy away from showing you care.

14.   Travel with a “stranger” by the end of the trip you will be friends.  You are nicer to people you do not know well and you are more patient with them than those you know. #Lesson - travelling with a stranger is an opportunity to challenge yourself and view the world through someone else’s eyes.  You also learn to be more patient and kinder especially if English is not necessarily their 1^st language.

15.   If your gut instinct says run, take it seriously. #Lesson - trust your gut, it generally never lies.

16.   Learning a new language can be very funny if you do it in a light hearted manner.

We were standing at a Game reserve when Luna turned to me and said Michelle “is I-sex warning in julu (Zulu)?”  We both had a good giggle when I sounded out the word she was reading for her. #Lesson - We teach each other at all times whether we realise it or not.

17.   Try, push and be consistent & persistent.

18.   Think out of the box and Dream Beeeeeeg. I met a girl who came from nothing who left home to get herself educated by working in different countries during the holidays so she could make money to pay her fees for varsity, this was all done without the support of any parents or close family. She was goal focused because she wanted a better life for herself.  She also wants nothing to limit her no matter where she goes so she obtained a bike and drivers license. #Lesson - you can have whatever you set your heart on but it will require severe discipline and willingness to stop at nothing and a lot of thinking out of the box.

19.   Say Yes. Sometimes we are so stuck in “who we are” that we have programed ourselves to say no all the time. No I don’t dance, No I don’t eat strange food, No I cannot entertain strangers.  #Lesson – You want to live?  Say YES

I love this picture of my sister Katie in Masai traditional attire,  Proudly  Nigerian and African. I loved being around her, she oozes confidence and kindness. 

20.   Don’t be shy about who you are. People are genuinely interested in you, not who you claim to be.  #Lesson – Be at peace with who you are and be proud of where you come from.

21.   Learn, Learn and Learn some more, I have met Harvard graduates, MBA holders and teachers. They don’t sleep on your couch because they poor they sleep on your couch because they want to understand what your life entails. # Lesson - it’s no lie never stop learning, that's why its called the school of life.

Alyssa and I

22. Travel with your siblings, parents in the fast paced world we live in we often don’t see our family as much we would like to. # Lesson – you are always in charge of how and with whom you spend your time.

23. Relax and take it easy, life happens, torrential rains, passports get forgotten in trains, we fall ill, these are small reminders to slow down and enjoy the ride. We are on the road to experience life not to fly through it. #Lesson – be goal orientated but always leave room for life to happen, you cannot be angry at life if slows you down you little rolling stone.     

24. Breathe.  Stop, breathe and start again. #Lesson – if you breathe correctly you feel more in control, don’t rush yourself this is your time.

25. Nike said it, I’m going to say it.  Just do it! Trust your thoughts, trust yourself and do what feels right to you.  People will always have something to say.  8 months later I feel like I woke up in a Bugatti from all the experiences I have had. #Lesson – Life is understood backwards 90% of the time.